A LITTLE PRAYER...

We held a majlis tahlil for the victims of the tsunami disaster today. It's times like these when you fully appreciate having a community that shares the same faith as you do.

Upon returning from the majlis, I spent an hour infront of the screen reading report after report on the calamitous event. I had only been aware of the tragedy a day after it occured, and didn't truly realize the magnitude of the aftermath til yesterday. The Cornwall flood dwarfed in comparison.

Somehow it is incomprehensible to imagine that something so fluid can cause destruction to such extent. Somehow it is incomprehensible that things are fine one minute and they aren't the next.

I was watching Arnold Schwarzenegger's "The 6th Day" a couple of nights back, a story about scientists cloning humans. In one of the earlier scenes, Arnold's pet dog dies and his wife insists that they clone it to prevent their 6-year-old daughter from grievance. But Arnold objects, arguing that the child needs to learn about life and death, eventually.

In some ways, we are spared from making such choices. And that these choices are best left to God. Sitting in a comfortable bed with abundant food stored in my 'fridge, it's easy to be rational. For the thousands who have lost their loved ones and the world that they know of, it takes much more to overcome and persevere.

Hopefully, what little prayer we've uttered for the souls lost and the souls battling for life, will make a difference. Al-Fatihah.

Take care all :)

BEAUTIFUL 4 YEAR OLDS :)

Happy 4th Birthday (Dec 4th) Arif and Afiq!
...and Happy Hari Raya to Marsya and Nureen, since you're in the picture too :p


Marsya, Nureen and birthday twins Arif and Afiq :)

Here are my lovely nephews and nieces, collectively known as The Fantastic (Mischievous, more like :p) Four!

Hugs!

'TIS THE SEASON TO SLACK

Ah school is out :)
And it finally decided to snow today. Oh and by the way, I had some time on my hands last night...



Wasted cartridges and a ream of paper designing this. Hoping that somehow the design can compensate for the band's performance :p

I also included a note along with this DVD I'm sending to my mum:
"Ada sumbang banyak, so next time I can't kutuk Akademi Fantasia with you guys anymore :/"

That aside, I have an english paper due on the 20th, and I have yet to decide on a topic to write about. I'm pretty sure there's a reason why it's due a week from now, but I think I will finally figure that out during one of my panic attacks, hopefully at least 3 days before the paper is due. Old habits die hard, I hear.

The good news is though, that I will have 3 weeks worth of acting the goat (for those familiar with Prof. Calculus of Tintin *wink*) and fooling around doing nothing.

Baa.

GEMPITAFEST!!!

I have a bad history of screwing up whenever I'm on stage, but this must've been the funnest one yet! :D

The Malaysian students over at University of Michigan hosted this year's Battle of the Bands. It was a grand event and I must say, the students here are all so very talented :) Hats off!

Anyway, we CMUans (or is it CMUites?), apart from Amir, aren't the most musically inclined. But in the spirit of joining the event (and making fools of ourselves :p) we decided to put together a band and perform. So for 3 Saturdays we would gather in Amir's room and jam away til the wee hours, much to the horror of the fourth floor residents of Fairfax Apartments.

Oh, and our band name? The Mellons! (I had nothing to do with it, I swear.)

First picture, from l-r: me (vocals, guitar), Amir (guitar, bass, drums), Apis (guitar, vocals), Samah (bass, guitar) and Lan (drums, vocals)

Pictures courtesy of Mike Ng, Usamah and Mazran.

The Mellons at Gempitafest 2004!

On the day itself we were a nervous wreck, specially since we were the first to perform. But once on stage, it was fun (even though I played all the wrong chords and sang out of tune. Suara siap pecah-pecah lagi tu :p Then again, I think, I was slightly better than Lan :p huhuhu)! And the crowd was really supportive :D

The other bands were awesome. These people are just born to be rockstars, I tell you! It was a memorable night for me and it was all so very well organized.

Yes, we had fun alright and it was nice to finally be able to get away from schoolwork and meet friends. Alhamdulillah, we got to Michigan and back safely too (thanks to the drivers, yah!). Oh, and here's an awesome picture of Samah banging away to Suicidal Dreams. Hahaha!

Kudos to all the Gempitafest crew and my highest respect to all who performed that night :)
Also to Mike Ng of UMich who took such wonderful pictures ;)

...And of course to my fellow Mellons: Amir, Apis (your goreng was awesome :D), Samah and Lan \('0')/

ORGY WEEKEND

We had a raya party last Saturday. I stayed up all night cooking with my roommate Ksyu (like the nut), and didn't get to hit the tub til after the first guests arrived. About 20-30 people showed up and we ended up having a great time, though of course being host you don't get to pig out with the rest.

At about 4pm, in the midst of all the people standing around with paper plates, I checked my e-mail. Purely out of duty rather than habit. And of course, I would have expected nothing less from my groupmates: "Meeting at 5pm. Bring laptops for coding session." So I excused myself from my party and headed out, cursing my Inbox and wishing the e-mail had never been invented.

Then again, we ended up having cheese and chocolate fondue instead. Yep, a fondue orgy it was. Don then suggested that we should have a beer party. To which somebody said, "But Yazmin doesn't drink" and to which I replied, "Hoho, but I can watch you guys drink". I figure I could get them to do stupid stuff whilst they drown themselves in alcohol. Muahahah.

That night we had a jamming session and I showed up half an hour late with cheese and chocolate stains on my t-shirt.

Oink.

RAYA AND ITS ROTTING EVIDENCE

The sink is piled up with rock-hard rendang, day-old laksa bubbling up and that foul smelled slab of something red (ayam masak merah, probably?). It's maybe about time to roll up the sleeves, clean up and brave those regular days where food is not abundant nor rotting in the house...

The end is near and I can smell the sweet sweet scent of graduation scrolls locked up in President Cohen's metal locker. Thanksgiving is the final hurdle I need to face this semester (on a lighter note, I have two major systems to deliver too, but that's not important...) and I'm hoping to God please, please, please don't make me cook that dratted turkey again.

For three years running I have spent Thanksgiving day with either a burning or an over-basted turkey sogging away in the oven. Those turkeys you see on telly are fake: they don't always turn out all nice and golden like in movies. You'd be surprised to see the many ways they can look like at the end of the day. I shan't go into details. And yes, feel free to doubt my cooking skills now :p

This year I hope to sit back and priss over some other unfortunate lass/lad. Hopefully I'll get to pass my culinary wisdom ("Baste every half an hour", "Don't let the turkey swim in its juice or the bottom won't be crisp", "Leave the legs tied together", "Fetch me another glass of juice, will ya?"...).

It's nice how all the holidays are crammed together: Deepavali, Raya, Thanksgiving, Christmas. It reminds you how much you have to do in order to have a little fun and then end up a) not being able to celebrate because of all the work piling up b) not finishing your assignment or studying for an exam that'll be counted 50% towards your final grade. Celebrations give new meaning when you're rushing to meet deadlines and then forcing yourself to have fun just to make up for all that hard work you had to do. Then of course there's that guilty pleasure you enjoy and the lengthy argument you have with yourself the next day to justify that these holidays come once a year.

Ah, to be back in high school when catching up meant studying the night before exams ;)

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin!

GEEK FACTOR 10

Somehow along the course of the semester, my groupmates and I seem to have lost our vocal chords. We spent our meeting sitting across each other communicating through AIM. Either that, or turning away from the monitor has become a strenous task. We spooked a fellow IS major when he entered the room and saw all of us sitting in a circle without speaking to each other, silently tapping away at our keyboards.

We've finally decided that all meetings should, from this point onwards, be done this way.

It was also weird how Bruce couldn't communicate with us given that he was in the room too. Maybe it was because he didn't have his laptop with him?

[21:52] dmosites: what's up buddy
[21:52] toadiemon: he can't hear us???
[21:52] toadiemon: wtf?
[21:52] yazmin1701: aww hes not replying
[21:52] dmosites: wtf mate?!?
[21:52] KimInGroup8: Yeah.
[21:52] toadiemon: bruce???
[21:52] toadiemon: BRUCE?!?!?!
[21:52] saplee8: BRUCE!

...??

BLOODY MOON

...any excuse to use vulgarities...

We stood on the roof of fairfax apartments and got a clear view of the lunar eclipse. Amazingly the sky was clear and the moon shown really bright. Earth's shadow started creeping around 9:20-ish and we stood there making comments about the wonders of nature. Yeah, it was pretty uneventful, save that of the phenomenon unfolding above us, and yeah we did get a little bored (someone left the roof to go play PS :p). But it was a nice moment just sitting there watching the sky and doing absolutely nothing. An hour of craning my neck to see the moon turn red? Totally worth it.

It must have been the longest I've ever been away from my laptop :)

TIDES ARE IN...

Apart from the confusing weather, a lot in my life has been confusing lately. Monday, Tuesday..eh? eh? it's Monday again, you say?

These past few weeks have been a mixture of programming, apple cobblers and data diagrams. It's all very well, but I am also torn between being the grumpy senior i should very well be and actually enjoying these last couple of months as a student. I emailed Kim last night in the midst of debugging my brain: "Kim I couldn’t sleep last night thinking abt your apple cobbler. Can I have the recipe please please pretty please?" and it may be a sign of utter craziness overtaking my faculties.

I also stood outside in the cold for a whole half hour late last evening, waiting for an eclipse due tonight.

It must be the alignments of the planets...

DRUNKEN MASTER MONKEY

Jayce disrupted the class on Monday. Made a commotion about not having a place to sit and then telling Stephanie off for having too much elbow room ("You! Yeah, you! You moved like, not at all. Thanks a lot!").

The rest of us were confused more than anything else. Morning classes rarely spares us the surprise of any event, save that of people trickling in 10 minutes late. So yeah, we were pretty shocked.

So Jayce starts whispering to the girl next to him, who in turn looks like she's squirming in her seat but is trying to humor a psychological child killer. Apparently he wasn't quite finished aiming daggers at Steph.

15 minutes into the lesson, Jayce slips off his chair and falls onto the floor unconscious faster than you can say "John & John!". We're all a little surprised, then start looking at each other, giggling.

One of two things:
1. Jayce was on some sort of medication/some large dose of valium gone wrong for his relief of skeletal muscle spasm and tremor suffered through cerebral palsy
OR
2. Jayce was drunk

Professor Cramer continued class and we all left him in his vegetative state, no doubt dreaming of chasing rabbits in lush green meadows.

NEW VENTURES

Has it really been a month? Strangely, I'm still enjoying myself this semester. Normally the excitement wears off near the second week of school. Fishy, fishy :)

Had my official meeting with Ken the tech guy yesterday to get things sorted out. First day at work was ok. But now i have to re-read my JAVA notes and brush up on my programming, though I doubt I'd be doing anything that tough. I'm still a little scared. Then again I can't complain: who else gets to do work related to their major and at the same time with the Language Department :)

Pittsburgh is getting chilly. It's that time of year. Two weeks ago Kim and I made dinner at her place. We made fish with stir-fried veggies (what else? :p) and baked potatoes. I must say it was really yummy. Plus it was fun going to the supermarket to choose the fish. But nothing beats the wet, smelly pasars back at home :)

Ah, to have a serving of ikan bawal putih...

Oh, and by the way, I saw Metallica last week :)

I XINGHUA. I KICK YOUR ASS.

We spent Sunday cooped up in PH217 to finalize Milestone 1. But we weren't only equipped with laptops and use cases - Alex brought his Xbox yeargh!

We started the meeting with Alex and Don killing each other off in SoulCalibur. After much concentration and vigor, we all took a break eating Chinese takeout and fortune cookies. It was well after an hour before we started anything on our phase report.

Then we were all brain-drained and Sam had a serious attack of gaming-deficiency. It was pretty chronic since he had been away from his CounterStrike for almost 12 hours. So we all took a well deserved break and began kicking each other's asses again.

It was dark out when our meeting adjourned. Eventhough we were exhausted, it was clearly a productive meeting.

EH?

Exactly my thoughts about the first week of school :p Things are going full steam ahead, too soon for my liking. But it's either that or being left behind wallowing over summer's past.

We've had meetings just about everyday with our clients. Not such a bad thing since they treat us to pizza and drinks :) But as early as 9:30 in the morning? So much for showing up in professional attire. PJs and bunny slippers will have to do :p

CASTLES MADE OF SAND...

That's how my holidays appear to be like...But no regrets :) I've had one hell of a time this summer. And I think I would be as bold as to say that this may have been the best ;)

I fly back this evening at 10:45PM, my tummy fiercely protesting the airline food we are bound to be served tonight. But i guess it'll be singing a different tune once we arrive in Pitt and all I can feed it is my own cooking :p

I can't believe another summer has come and gone. And now i'm left to ponder about what the final two semesters have in store for me. Torture, no doubt. Professor Mertz emailed me a couple of days back and offered a job with the TechBridgeWorld project. It consists of database management, naturally, and i am very much tempted. But with my final year ahead of me and a major project to look forward to (whee..), i think it might be best to turn the offer down :( I hope such an offer will present itself to me next Spring when I am much more available *crosses fingers*

So, today I fly back. Arrive, Sunday. Senior project meeting, Monday. A little preview of what's to come, eh? :p

But at least I know that I had a holiday well spent :) And that I had an awesome last couple of days :D

Plus it helps to know that i have a box of sand, somewhere...

A WRITER'S REWARD...

...is seeing his/her first by-line printed on paper :)

SUMMER SHOOT

Couldn't bring my SLR since it was too bulky :( But mum had her camera handy and we shot about 9 rolls of film.

Dig in :)

Eastern Europe Tour

FINAL STRETCH...

Home sweet home! Where rice is abundant and the meat is halal :) Also where the curry smell sticks to your hand and the chilli is actually hot.

Travelling eastern europe was a blast. 15 days crossing borders and encountering various cultures and languages. Thank god for the Euro.

We had a German tour guide and a Belgium driver, and lots and lots of Ozzies, Brits and Americans. Apparently the culture sampling began right there :)
Ute, our tour guide, imparted much knowlegde on us all and made the entire trip a living history. Stories of Kings and Queens, empires and wars made the whole journey much more eventful. I can hardly even begin to relate back all the places and people I have met and leanrt of.

The last 2 days were spent in London where we busied ourselves car-boot shopping and walking through Oxford Street (keyword being 'walking through' :p). You can't help but love London with their small roads and small cars that fit about 4 to 5 people the size of rugby players. Simply amazing :)

Am still a little pooped from all the travelling. But happy, all the same :)

You can travel to the edge of the world, meet all the people that make up this crazy place we call earth, and still find yourself happiest when you're back at home.

Long live Malaysia ;)

EUROPEAN ESCAPADE

'Tis the season to travel!

Tonight I'll be off for an 18-day-tour around the imperial capitals of Europe. I'm so excited but so far I've been able to compose myself and not get too carried away. I think it's starting to kick in though and I really can't wait any longer :)

We'll be visiting London, and then from there head off to Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Slovakia and Czech Republik. Maybe France if time permits. But my budget may disagree. Truth be told, I think I've reached a financial cul de sac :p

Well, au revoir all and hope everyone enjoys their holidays! Pray I get their safe and return here with goodies and tons to tell :)
Muahs!

TO THE STARS AND BACK...

My, my how time does fly...

Last week was a wicked ride. I finally completed my Delia Smith piece (due to come up the week of August the 2nd, ladies and gents..) and I also actually interviewed...hold your horses everybody...a cosmonaut! Hell yeah. And who says astronauts only exist on your tv screen :p

It was awesome - except for the fact that I was having a bad case of "runny-nose-dripping-all-over-my-face" flu. But like a true intern, I braved the flu and went on on this intergalactic task of interviewing Colonel Yuri Gidzenko.

I am proud to say that this time around I was a lot more sane and did not stutter at all. I was composed and calm. I was Cool Yazmin. Yazmin the Journalist. Yazmin the Oh-So-Cool Journalist. *grin*

It also helped that this Russian fella wasn't exactly a linguist and English wasn't his mother tongue. So naturally I was a lot more confident and conducted the interview somewhat professionally (with the occasional sniffs, poor me). He was a warm character, I must add, and we had a few laughs during our little session. Russians are funny. In a nice kind of way :)

The Cosmonaut Edpisode was fun and if it weren't for my flu, I would have been celebrating on table tops that night. Unfortunately the flu took over and soon enough I was sprawled on my bed. Two days straight. I developed rashes and went frantic for awhile when my mum (always the all-knowing doctor :) ) suggested it was measles. So the next day we went to the hospital to get my blood checked, just to see if it was dengue. Funnily enough, as soon as we stepped out of the hospital, the rashes magically disappeared.

Hmmm....

Anyway, so at least it got me out of work. Not that I wanted to (work is so fun!). But I did get enough rest. Only three weeks into this journalism field and already I am starting to feel the exhaustion of being in the frontline. And my tasks aren't even half as hard or demanding as Cheryl's or Sheila's. Who says writing is easy?

After the fading of the mysterious rashes, I was back on my feet and at work. How I missed the Zoo and the other ladies. Seriously, The Edge is the best place to hang out :)

Come Saturday, I went to my first squash match. I honestly didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did. Unfortunately Nicole lost to some other lass. This has happened before, and I'm wondering if I bring bad luck...

Anyway, after all that, now I'm finally in my final week here at The Edge. It's rather sad and yet I know that somehow it's not exactly the end. Don't ask me the end of what, for I surely can't elaborate. It's just that somehow I feel this is probably the beginning of something more interesting for me. And I'm very much happy :)

But for now, I'm coming to the end of this little chapter of my 3-month-summer. And as much as I feel I have almost reached the stars, I know it's time to fly back down for awhile and get on with college.

Life is full of fun :)

ARTICLES, DELIA SMITH, AND AN INTERESTING SATURDAY AFTERNOON

A week with The Edge and I'm starting to feel the pressures of deadlines and interviews. The first week, I was given the task of preparing the Markets section of Options (which will be out tomorrow for the week of July 19th :)). Though it's nothing huge - just 2 short articles "selling" some products and a 500+ word story on juggling careers and parenting - I'm still pretty psyched; my very first byline :D
 
The next excitement was that I attended a pretty posh launching of a well-known beauty product. It was a modest affair with only a couple of journalists from 6-8 selected newspapers. I came home with a goody bag and some serious reconsideration of my current major :p I was later told by Cheryl that they travel a number of places each year, with Switzerland being an annual visit, in order to cover stories. If that's not enough, they actually get a lot of stuff from the launchings they attend. Think Louis Vuitton and Chanel. Drool...
 
Then came my major assignment: I was to interview Delia Smith: national icon, bestselling cookery author and director of Norwich City Football Club. I might as well have entered myself into Fear Factor and chugged a bucket of snails. So great was my fear. However, I came out of the interview in one piece, though my interview notes are another story (I kept forgetting to jot down what she said). And as much as I'd like to brag that I conducted the interview like a natural, I actually froze a couple of times and stuttered like an old jalopy ("S-So h-ho-ho-how, er wh-wh-what inspires you?"). Sheila saved me many a time, filling in the awkward silences that followed when my mind went blank. Oh the agony (Kill me somebody, kill me now). Sheila told me not to kick myself too hard since it was, after all, my first interview. It was indeed a great experience; priceless some might say. And acting a fool in front of Sheila and Delia was actually a decent price to pay.

A WANNABE'S WRITING STINT

As soon as I arrived home, I felt elated that I had a whole 3 months to neglect my brains and stuff my face with real food. But come the second week of hols, I couldn't stand it; it was too dull to stay home, too quiet, and it didn't help that I spent the first weeks shopping with mum all day buying stuff out of pure lust.

So I distributed my writing portfolio and resume to a couple of magazine/newspaper publishers. I figured that since I'd propably be coding for the rest of my life (oh joy..), this would be the only chance for me to try my hand at journalism/publishing.

The Asian Wall Street Journal offered me a 1-week stint and The Edge offered me a month with their paper. I chose the latter mainly because The Edge is well-known locally to the corporate world and because I needed that whole month to occupy myself and the fact that the words 'Wall Street Journal' (brrr...) scares me a little: I wanted to settle on something a little lighthearted and a little less technical. Besides, their HQ is in Hong Kong, so I probably wouldn't get to see the entire workings of a published newspaper.

Upon arriving at The Edge, I was greeted by Ms. Alicia who handled all the formalities which consisted of me signing some documents stating I had to keep company secrets to myself (heh heh heh...no I promise I will, Brownie's honours!). Then I was brought on a tour around the building(s). Apparently they had read my writing portfolio and figured I was best suited at the lifestyle section of The Edge called Options.

No more than 2 minutes had passed as I sat at my desk when a lady came over. She introduced herself as Maryanne and stood there talking with me for awhile. The name struck a chord but I wasn't sure. Then I asked, "Maryanne? You're Maryanne Tan?!?" For the first time in journalism history I was star-struck. I have read her columns before and here she was standing by my desk chatting away about something (I was only half listening because I was flabbergasted). Looking like an overeager amateur writer wannabe, I instantly bombarded her with questions and advice. Maryanne was so nice to actually answer me well and bear my eternal smile I was wearing (so much like an idiot's that by the time the conversation ended, my face was aching).

The entire crew for Options consists of only 3 beautiful ladies: Surinda the Editor, Sheila whose forever jetlagged, the poor thing and Cheryl the sweet and zesty. I finally met them around 10-ish and we all went to grab a drink at the cafe. Surinda had to run some errands before she could head out with us so she told Sheila, "I'll meet y'all at the zoo".
Light dawned when we reached the cafe: above the door was a sign that said FinancialZoo. Oh what fun it was when I found out that staff could have all the coffe, tea or milo they want and all the ice-cream they could eat!

As I sat there with my pelangi Paddle-Pop listening to Surinda talk about assignments and interviews and explaining that they normally come in to work at 10am (you don't say..), I knew that this was the best job ever...

ANOTHER LIFE BEGINS :)

A new niece! Congratulations Angah and Kak As (and Marsya) :)

FLYING WITH CARE BEARS....*sigh*

13 hours sitting on my posterior and now i have a 21 hour flight back home to look forward to.

Midwest Games was fun. mainly because i got to see my friends and irritate the heck out of pitis (nyahaha :p). CMU lost all matches (had they been programming questions, we would've won) but still managed to look good losing.

on the way back from Minnesota i saw a rainbow. the first one in years. i had the sudden urge to go look for that pot of gold and prance around the clouds with a bunch of Care Bears. just like old times. then i remembered i had a plane to catch on thursday and some major packing to do.

being old kills off any imagination. bummer.

running off tangent though: i love how people remember the little things. like the dates of my final exams or a flight back home.

me go sleep now.

STRANDED

you know a shopping spree's gone bad when you've missed the last bus home and you're stuck with only your two shopping companions.

thanks Samah and Lan for saving us. albeit in a very questionable car :)

I'M A BUM

hey ho derry ho!

bumming around is tiresome. quiz me on celebrities and i'm sure i'll ace 'em all - been sitting on the same sofa for 3 days watching VH1 and the Iron Chef. which inspired me to make fried ice cream and mashed potatoes. the ice cream was a failure. seri, ksyu and i ended up eating melted ice cream with bits of cornflakes and oil on it.

yum!

SUMMER'S HERE!

has been an interesting semester. a little beat, but that's the same with any semester :)

enjoy summer all!

AN ANGEL

now here's a face noone can resist :) !!!

TIME DOESN"T NECESSARILY MAKE THE HEART FONDER

my lycos mail is filling up fast with nonsensical emails. one that caught my eye today was this: "look rich now get rich later fake rolex". heh, i say that's spam mail everybody should get :p

i met a CMU student the other day who, after spending three and a half years working towards getting an Electrical Engineering degree, finally found out his passion for people. so he changed his major to anthropology. i didn't even know they offered that course in CMU.

anyway, happy April Fool everybody. nope. no pranks here :)

AH, THE SMELL OF MONEY SPRING

so a guy donated $55 milion to the business school last week. and renamed it after himself. i would like to think that he went bankrupt after that, but apparently he makes billions a year. jason says his daughter is hot. what are the odds; being a billionaire's daughter AND having a pretty face.

spring must be near. the air has started to smell like cow dung and the other day i heard a sound very much like a pigeon getting stomach cramps (mating call, maybe?). honestly, it's like a zoo. the grass is piled with fertilizer and walking to class is like a trip to the farm. i dont remember when spring came last year, but presently the trees are still very much bald. i am thankful though that the sun is out most days now.

happy spring, all :) *tweet tweet*

FUN THE I.S. WAY!

we spent four hours coding and an extra two playing games! Professor H. told us stories over pizza, of how he met his wife and how his kids won the chess tournament that day. who says IS projects are dull :p

let's all pray chong gets better soon...

WRITE!

had interesting chats with both my technical writing professor and my fiction writing professor. it's fun to be talking seriously about the forms of academic and professional writing one minute and then discussing silly ideas on magical realism the next. my tech writing professor is really excited that i should go into professional writing. we had a long talk last friday about all the possibilities and she lent me a couple of her books for me to read.

yesterday i met up with professor masters. this man is quite a character to describe. he's near past 80, but his sense of humor is as fresh as any nineteen-year-old. he cracks us all up in class (and i dont mean lame jokes that we laugh at out of pity) and his choice of fiction is pretty interesting. i sat in his office for half an hour, initially to discuss class. but we ended up talking about the photographs on his walls which he had taken himself. he's a decent photographer, i must say. i've begun to realize that many writers do photography. it must be that at some point of their career they have touched upon journalistic writing or freelancing.

anyway, in studying genre fiction, i attempted a silly piece for experimental purposes. professor masters is a disbeliever in animation/inanimation dialog, so i wanted to test the waters to see how far he would accept or reject my story. it's far from being completed, but anyhoo....here's some light reading for you :)

Tommy

BIRTHDAY LADY :)

Happy birthday Mak dearest!
Love you so much :)

SLEEPLESS IN PITT

my professor increased my salary by 50 cents.

for 3 days i have watched the sky turn from midnight blue to orange red to bright blue. from where i sit the angle is spectacular and it seems as if the sky is fenced by bald branches outside the window. i tend not to stare out too much at night, but when dawn breaks you feel its a lot unlikely to find goblins peering in :)

somehow i think i may have lost the ability to sleep. and through it i've gained the gift of time. my sister keeps reminding me though that sleep deprivation causes the brain to become slow. i think i believe her.

PAPER HORSEY

made a horse today...



a little untidy, but i'll make a nicer one some other time :)



al-Fatihah to Ejay's father...

ORIGAMI

a customer left an origami at the table the other day and Ant kept it above the counter. "I don't wanna throw it away", he had said.

seeing that origami brought back a flush of childhood memories. mum would make tupperwares and tupperwares of origami flowers and animals. i remember abah coming home from Japan bringing back books on origami and sheets of japanese patterned paper. we'd never touch those origami papers because they were too pretty and mum didnt want to waste it since it came from far away and were expensive. so we'd buy those colored paper you can get for 25 cents a sheet and made origamis out of those. our favorite was the jumping frog. all four of us - my two brothers, my sis and i, would make small frogs and number them. then we'd hold a contest to see which frog jumped the highest and furthest.

after coming home from school that night, i took out some paper and started making squares. it has been a long time since i had even attempted an origami so i began by folding and unfolding the paper randomly, hoping somehow it would turn into something. after awhile i started to remember some origami basic foldings. and eventually i did end up with a traditional crane. the next day, everywhere i sat i left a paper crane.

last night i attempted a tyrannosaurus rex. it was labeled intermediate, but i was simply itching. the diagram was in some foreign language and so a lot of guesswork took place in addition to lots of tearing of paper. it was a full half hour before i finally got a semi-trex on my desk, standing somewhat wobbly with its head a little torn. i dare say it is what the diagram had expected. even so, i was a quite pleased with my misshapen attempt and left it on my desk.

there is something about origamis that make you feel obliged just to keep it. it's so simple and delicate, you'd feel bad to throw it away.

FEBRUARY BABIES

february is special :)

14th Feb - Happy first birthday Marsya, darling! Love you lots and can't wait to see you in June!
15th Feb - Happy birthday kak As dearest! Must be the best birthday yet, to have been able to share it with your dear Marsya :) Take care, yeah.

and of course...

18th Feb - Happy birthday Abah!!!! Lots of love and wish I was at home to celebrate with you (by watching some cowboy movie or anything gory of course :D)

a thousand hugs and kisses!

THE WORLD IN BLACK & WHITE

havent been to the darkroom in quite a while, and i forgot how intense it can be. i was mildly surprise that i had remembered most the procedures in developing. the first few tries my pictures came out overdeveloped and i also blew the enlarger bulb - which has never happened before. so naturally i freaked out for a bit and did the cuckoo dance while alone in the darkroom.







for every picture that doesnt come out right and goes into the trash can, i mentally substract 70 cents and kick myself for not going to bhphotovideo.com.

ps: all pictures taken with a Pentax MZ-M 35mm lens, Ilford HP5 Black & White film at 400 ISO and developed on Ilford Multigrade IV RC Deluxe (Pearl) photographic paper. hover mouse over pictures for technical info.

IT'S A FRIENDLY WORLD AFTER ALL

last week has been good to me: phase 1 went extremely well, i got my long overdue paycheck, the sun was out most the time, and of course john fixed me dinner :)

i was out on one of my photography excursions when an old lady asked me what i was taking pictures of. at the time i had my camera pointed towards the sky, trying to frame a fair portion of a building against the bright blue. i had been standing there for a good 2 minutes, waiting for a flock of pigeons to fly over. what i hadn't noticed was that i had attracted the attention of many passers-by; all craning their necks to see what it was i was so patiently waiting to snap.

anyway, i ended up postponing my picture-taking to chat with the old lady. she asked me where i was from and commented that i looked japanese (not the first time, though don't ask me why - some of my friends have christened me Yama, even). she was from russia. noticing her thin jacket i remarked that the cold must not have bothered her as much. she said not really, though she doesn't remember russian weather that well. she met her husband, who is Polish, during WWII and they had come to America in 1949. She asked where I go to study and I replied Carnegie Mellon (always "Carnegie Mellon" when speaking to elderlies - it resonates a much more formal tone and sounds a lot more grand ;)). The old lady had nodded in approval and continued to tell me that her son had gotten his Ph.D from CMU and was currently working in San Francisco. Her other son was a dentist working in Texas and her daughter, a lecturer in Pittsburgh. She looked very happy and proud, and she must have been to be telling me all this. I wondered if 20 years from now my mother would be beaming in the very same way when she spoke of her kids.

I was pretty surprised when she told me her son was turning 58. I said she didn't look a day over 60 and she beamed even wider. She told me she has 3 grandchildren, the eldest now in Northwestern University. Apparently his parents had attended the same college, and it was there they had met. What was more interesting was the fact that her grandson now has a chinese girlfriend. My immediate response was that they would probably have very beautiful kids. She herself mused at this, saying that it was rather interesting. especially since the unborn child would be a mix of russian, polish, american and chinese.

We chatted a little while longer before she said that she didn't want to keep me from doing my photo snapping any longer. So we shook hands (she hugged me too, much to my surprise), bade farewell, and she wished me the best in life while i wished her a safe journey to Florida (for she was leaving the next day with her husband).

That conversation left me feeling how small the world can really seem like with friendly people at every corner.

"two shots of expresso, and i'm still good to go..."

aah, so caffeine has begun to take effect on me. once again. but i do doubt for long. it's only february but it feels like june. and here you can expect to have snow in june. somebody blindfold me and tell me it's spring. i would gladly concede.

My groupmates are exchanging emails and it's 2am. It's a bizzare semester. And what's more bizzare than communicating through virtual space at such ungodly hours? The fact that Britney Spears earns $39.2 mil annually.

(sobs...)

RAYA

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha! :)

WHERE'S THE 'PAUSE' BUTTON?

the calendar on my wall says October 2003. I wonder what that says about me.

we've just finished Phase I of our project and still have four more to look forward to. all this documentation has left me exhausted and i'm thinking: why need to build the system at all? the documentation is good enough. it's impressive, motivating and we've proved that it's technically feasible. so now we should just keep it locked in a nice metal cabinet along with all the other proposed projects and hand out those A's. life should be that simple, don't you think?

by the time we implement it, there'd be better languages and better ways to develop the database. how current is current and how fast can we actually keep up with the spawn of new technologies? speaking of which, have you realized how slow the technology for batteries are evolving? either that or we're moving too fast that we havent caught up with advanced methods to provide energy in a sufficient and cheaper way. so here we are, coming up with all these gadgets that consume a lot more energy than we can actually afford. and in the long run there'd be hell to pay. it's almost like inventing all these deadly weapons and having a lack of human awareness to operate it.

now scientists are playing god and with all the scientific discoveries on DNAs, it seems they are slowly eroding religion away (nauzubillah). it's probably about time we take a breather from all the excitement and nurtured humanity into ourselves, lest we forget the important basics of life.

i think we're moving into the future faster than we can cope. the world should follow the pace at which i'm moving at. October 2003, maybe? :)

THE POWER THAT WE WIELD

"Hey, could I have this in a to-go cup, please"
"Sure"
"Sorry. I need to leave"
"Don't be. Your wish is my command"
"Really?"
"Sure!"
"Hop around for me"
"..."
"Hey, you're right! I am all powerful!"
"Amazing isn't it... the power that you wield"
"Haha. Thanks! I'll see you around"
"Yeah. In a couple of hours"

THE ALIEN THEORY

here's a silly thought...

i woke up at 827 on wednesday, and remembered i had a group meeting with prof. heinmann at 830am. there wasnt time to even feel distraught so i hopped out of bed, walked in circles for a bit to comprehend why it was i woke up so late, brushed my teeth, grabbed my jacket, and headed out with my PJs on.

there are times when technology fails you and you simply cant rely on that $20 alarm clock the salesman said could wake up the dead. and then you suddenly realize your dependence on technology is so intense that you cant even have breakfast without knowing how to operate the microwave. however, no matter how many times the system proves faulty, we continue to trust these gizmos and let them run our lives. it's not so much that we are so forgiving or that humans are creatures of habit; we just happen to enjoy convenience and soak ourselves in the luxury of being assisted with every little task.

it's pretty hard to imagine what the world will be like 20 years from now. will humans become so reliant on technological aid that we become more physically challenged? will the future man become fragile and weak for not utilizing his muscles as much? if all our efforts are channeled towards intelligence in order to make life easier, will our physiological appearance then evolve and become a complex mass of simply organs and brain cells?

we perceive aliens as big headed creatures with slender limbs. even in movies aliens are portrayed as being a complex form of brains and tentacles, bearing armoured and highly advanced suits to protect their fragility (think The Predator or Independence Day aka ID4). almost always these creatures have these really awesome armours on that are bulletproof and can do a million things at once. however when they're captured and put in a lab and the scientists start peeling away these suits, we always find that the alien is just a clump of flesh that would most likely be wobbling around had they not put on the suit to support their bodies. (and then they'll wake up suddenly on the operating table and eat all the people in the room but let's skip that).

apparently these aliens have become so technologically advanced that they evolve to become complex creatures with organs hanging around everywhere. the early man was bulky, broad shouldered and i imagine, strong. back then man depended on physical strength to get by. however, we now depend highly on intellect and use our brains to invent gadgets that help make life easier. we have cars that bring us places so we dont have to use our legs as much, we have bouldozers that wipe off huge rocks without us having to hammer them to death. soon we'll have things that help us do everything so we wont have to use energy to do anything at all. and then our limbs will cease from existence because there's not much we need to do that our inventions cant do for us.

that said, do we really want technology to run our lives? do we really want to turn into large-headed jellyfishes that have to operate spaceships with tentacles? because if we do, then a couple of hundred years from now we'll probably find ourselves exactly where those poor aliens are.

think about it...

B.S. SOOTHSAYING

a lot of people i know are starting to worry about internships and jobs that i've begun to wonder if college actually equips us with enough skills to face the world beyond. problem solving is a valuable asset that will be required over and over in the working world. however, how sufficient will this skill be when new problems are spawning fast and need to be identified almost immediately? is problem setting taught enough then?

education has been very careful to indoctrinate us with analytical skills that help us identify arising questions and solutions to problems. scientific epistemology taught to us in college stress on formulas and strategies to solve possible problems we might encounter in our profession, and managerial practices provide us with just about every case study to analyze in hopes that we should be able to apply our course experience to real management dillemmas. no doubt these skills will be helpful.

with the intention of becoming a professional; be it an engineer, doctor, lawyer, etc., we hope that our degree can help establish a great understanding of what our profession really is. unless we decide to become an academic and continue to delve in research, the jobs that await us out there may be an entirely new world in which formulas and methodologies don't necessarily apply. instead we'll be dealing with a lot more than just straighforward problems and complex algorithms. work politics, lurking obstacles and ethical issues are some variables in which we will deal with a lot more, and definitely more than just a couple of times.

in which case, problem solving skills can't be enough to land us a competitive job. more and more graduates now are brighter and sharper that simply saying "Give me any problem, I will be able to solve it for your company!" to your interviewer may not be enough.

problems in the professions are now becoming more complex and unpredictable. it is all very well that one is equipped with knowledge to be able to handle problems and solve it. however there is no fixed equation of how a problem comes into being. they are unpredictable and develop along with the growth of the profession. problems that occured 20 years ago in the field of engineering may reoccur but along with the development of engineering, new problems arise. and in order to be a productive employee or problem solver, problem setting is just as important.

problem setting is simply a matter of reverse engineering - where we take all variables or background information at our disposal, create problems which are likely to occur and then create a solution. at work, we are not always presented up front with problems, but instead we need to view a situation and mine for possible constraints.

it may seem that we've been provided with similar scenarios in college, however problem setting is a skill that needs more emphasis. lawyers are trained to evaluate given situations in the most critical ways and detect every possible loophole that might occur. journalists are critical writers who mine for information and leave no stone unturned in order to be able to provide solid (and hopefully) credible articles. definitely, this ability also comes with experience. but it also is a subject matter that needs familiarizing with.

foresight is an asset to any company, and the skill to foresee problems is just as important as the ability to solve it. Companies today may still be looking out for that problem solver, but there is still a high chance that they are also looking for innovative candidates that are able to save their companies from future, unforeseen problems and act as soothsayers with the ability to identify obscure obstacles.

A KIVA SURPRISE

My oh my this is definitely the best year so far (sorry if i keep talking about this but i'm so happy!!)

Kiva Han threw a little surprise party for me! hehe... apparently they were all waiting for me to come in yesterday but I never did. So when i stopped by from campus just now, john made sure i didnt leave too soon as he disappeared to the kitchen. lo and behold, he came out with a cake, complete with candles :)

and so the kiva han crew, john and his wife all sat down to eat cake with me while telling each other stories :)

This is definitely, the best birthday i've had ;)

PARTY CRASHER!

i simply must say that i have the greatest friends in the world :)

after spending the entire day yesterday sleeping off my 'flu, i finally decided to head to campus to print some stuff. it was about 8pm at the time so i really needed to hurry.

as i stepped out of the elevator, i saw in the lobby just about all the malaysians at CMU huddled together and chattering. even though it seemed odd that they were all sitting there doing nothing, i thought i'd say hi and see what they were up to.

they were all surprised to see me. and the 2 cakes set up on the table were evident as to why they were :) And so, instead of being greeted with polite hello's, all of them started shouting at a very confused me...

"Alamak, myn!!"
"Aiyo, what are you doing here? Go back up!!!"
"Hide the cake! Lynn, tutup cake!"
"Err... err... SURPRISE!??!?!??"

haha... apparently i had crashed my own surprise party and spoiled it for all of them :p

anyway, it worked out in the end though (i had to act surprised again just to make them happy) and we all squeezed into my apartment to have a pretty decent time. honestly, i had a real blast and i really appreciate the thought :) It was fun to have people remember, but it was a lot more fun to see the looks on their faces when i caught them red handed :D

Thanks people! My love to all of you :)

SEASONS PASS By Yazmin Islahudin

The world unfolds with tunes of morn,
Rays flood each way, the night is shorn,
Streets come alive under break of dawn,
Another day is born.

The days go by in faithful pace,
Its splendors worth to be embraced,
But routine has kept me tied in place,
As I rush to run against the race.

Out by my window stands a bent old tree,
Whose presence at night becomes company,
Its bark bears wisdom and history,
For generations it has stood there loyally.

During Winter it’s dressed in the whitest of snow,
God’s confetti from the heavens that bless us below;
In Springtime pink buds appear aplenty and bloom,
Filling dullness with colors and a burst of perfume;
Then Summer appears and brings lush to its leaves,
Giving life to all things, bearing birds and the bees;
And when Fall falls upon us it sheds all but its grace,
The tree stands proud still, on its majestic dais.

But with absence I note these changes of time,
While the seasons disappear to the next one in line,
Caught up with matters too important to decline,
Life becomes what it is that we carelessly define.

Now I look out, to my faithful friend,
Once again on his bark, white snow descends.

How can time move by so fast?
Didn’t I live each day like it’s my last?
So I clutch today in a desperate grasp,
And try to freeze time in a casket of glass.

Yet somehow I had blinked too long,
For another year has gone.

*To all the well wishers, thank you so very much :) And may God bless us all with the turn of a new year (whenever that might be for you ;) )

WHO DO WE DECEIVE?

i have pictures of endangered animals on my wall and i just realized i dont really care much for them. also on my bookshelf i have issues of national geographic (in which i subscribe mainly for the pretty pictures) lined up and books on programming stacked neatly in order of height. there's a book on pottery too, somewhere, from when i thought i was interested in crafts.

with all these items that i own, am i unconsciously trying to portray an image to the public? is there a certain way i want others to perceive me as?

we all dress up during interviews and choose our words carefully, making sure we appear to belong in that particular corporate community we're applying to. in application forms we highlight what may be impressive and list traits we know will be met with approval. at one instance or another, we all adopt a fitting personality in order to gain acceptance and be classified with other notable types of people. in other words, people do a lot of 'acting' in order to 'fool' the general public. of course there's nothing wrong in this, and essentially this is expected behavior in which case certain ground rules or standards have been predetermined as a way of social conduct.

however there are times when such images are prominent and we become infatuated with trends. every person has a picture of their social status in their minds eye and we try to emulate this as much as we can in order to build our personality. married couples start collecting china and people develop a taste for italian furniture as they grow older. teenagers own every electronic device there is on the market. of course we dont pretend to have interest in these things, because we actually do. but there still lies a factor in which there's an unconscious drive to be seen in a way we want others to see us; we fabricate passion and concern over a set of values which builds a character that we want people to identify us with. with all the physical clues we exhibit, we give first impressions that establish our personality. or at least some part of it.

seeking individuality requires much more than scratching the surface, though. it gets much more complicated here, and to really understand a person one needs to interact and look for habits and simple behavioral patterns that paints a clearer picture as to who we really are.

no matter how well we are able to 'fool' others, our true personalities are always visible through those quirky habits that we carelessly give away. it's not so much that we lie and trick people into believing we're someone we're not. it's just that we are careful to select what we want people to see and know of us.

for me, my true colors are revealed by those simple evidence of coffee-mug rings stained on my table, rolls of film unmindfully placed in corners of my window sill, sweet wrappers in my wastepaper basket and paintboxes stuffed in my drawer away from those neatly archived Times magazine i set on my shelf for visitors to see :)

TWO WORLDS (And I'm Stuck In The Middle)

i meet 2 significantly different types of people on a daily basis; those tech nerds in my IS classes that go beserk over pieces of code, and more laid-back artsy people in my English classes that go philosophical over every sentence of rhetorics and start spewing poetry at you. even their physical appearances set these ppl apart. i realize most my IS colleagues dress pretty much in an earthy fashion where frills and glitters are probably stored at the back of their closets, while my English major friends make their own jeans, have thick rimmed stylish glasses and furry scarfs in bright neon colors around their necks.

i pretty much play the role as the chameleon and try as much as i can to disguise myself while i run from my database management class to my advanced professional & technical writing class. but when i do sit down amongst those bright psychadelic shirts and home-made retro skirts, my camoflage pretty much fails me. however, it's when discussions open my true colors give me away.

it surprises me still how different english majors think from technical majors do. they are much more passionate about things and seem to have a knack for intellectual discourse which somehow seems to make much more sense to the world than programming and system development do. though i don't deny the fact programming and system development have their importance in the world (yes, and i do mean "in the world". it's important ok). but in all honesty, english, which henceforth i shall refer to as language, shapes the world in a much more larger way. for i think it has the ability to impact minds, form ideas and inspire movements.

during one discussion i had several semesters ago doing discourse analysis, it appeared to me that discourse indeed does shape the world in how we see it. of course there may be times when in my english classes the students tend to think much more deeper into a context than they should have (they love doing that) but in fact it just makes the mind wander off in tangents that creates more opinions and ideas. they also seem to question things historically and spend more time pondering over methodologies as to why people react the way they do and how language can trigger revolutionary changes, which it has by the way. more than anything these english students delve deeper into language than anyone i've ever met and bring about a whole new set of practices, from philosophy to psychology. and believe me, these people, in some way or another, have the power to change the way we perceive things through language and discourse.

a technical student however, sees things differently. they are capable of contributing to deep discussions, though the way of thinking might slightly differ. they come up with just as interesting things as the english student does, but from a different perspective. more often than not it always relates back to philosophies of economics or maybe organizational behavior. interesting nonetheless. but also much more constricted. where the english student sees things in a more open and metaphysical point of view, the techie sees things which is almost always based on substantial evidence, carefully disguised in examples of current affairs and political matters. in short, technical students are as much businessmen as english majors are philosophers.

of course many philosophers came from very technical, or rather scientific backgrounds. but proficiency in language is also important and the understanding of how the audience relate and react to language is equally essential. mastering the language is just as significant as the idea one is about to funnel across. politicians make great case studies, though i do recommend philosophers and of course the much more prettier verses of the Qur'an. the success of influencing people comes from the way the language is conveyed to you.

i find myself going back and forth between these two personalities of the tech student and the english student, more so when the concreteness of programming begins to reflect the reality i am about to face the next 20 years of my life. the IS side of me knows that this very well might be the thing that will provide bread and butter on my table. but the other part of me also wants to keep writing in hopes to be able to convey ideologies and share experiences which might be worth telling. of course nobody is actually stopping me from doing both, but it just goes to show that technical skills and social sciences go hand in hand.

despite their superficial differences though, i like to think that the english and IS department are actually conjoined twins joined by their knack for knowledge and lack of fashion sense :)

JUNIOR YEAR

Tomorrow is the start of a brand new semester. Am i psyched? nope. Am i nervous? yes.

Junior year is tricky. you can almost see the finishing line, but right ahead of you, you need to plough through barnacles and sidestep mines. occasionally, you stumble across an oasis and you get lost in its comfort and promises of perpetual merriment.

...then your grades come by and smack you right back to the face of reality.

And a beautiful face it is indeed :D

Enjoy school, people!

A SMALL TIP GOES A LONG WAY

There are many things to be thankful for today. AT&T Wireless and Ikea, just to name a few. I was also very surprised at how great it felt when the waiter who served me expressed his gratitude at having been tipped so handsomely. (well, not that handsomely, but enough to make someone happy apparently :)). it got me thinking about how true it is that it's always better to give than to receive. and by this principle do i hold firmly onto the golden rule which states "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

so, tips anyone? :D

AYYY!

on my way back from DC i could have sworn the steward was henry winkler (the fonz from happy days), only older. he talked like him, walked like him and had his hair combed like him. it just reminded me of what a fan i was of the fonz when i was little. he defined cool and set the standard for cool.

ayyyy!

SUNDAY SOBS

i spent part of my sunday night crying alone in my room watching armageddon. with my laptop on my lap, a half-empty box of donuts, 2 bags of chips and a 1-litre carton of juice around me on my bed.

i am the picture of depression.

D.C.

the orientation in DC wasnt as bad as i expected. in fact lan was right; by the time i had to leave DC i didnt feel like it. and i actually delayed my departure to the airport because i didnt want to come back to pittsburgh so bad. which wasnt a wise move since currently the security level is up to orange alert. i stood in the boarding line for a good 15 minutes and even after all the x-rays, they did a second search on me.

5 days in DC and i met a lot of new people. interesting, i might add. it was 6am every morning and back in bed at 12am every night. the most memorable thing about the orientation would have to be the meals we were provided with every 2 hours or so. i hardly even have 3 meals a day here in pitt, and after those 5 days in DC i realize that i become hungry a lot more often.

suddenly i feel very very incompetent and almost sloth-like. i've been in ever since i returned on christmas eve and have been spending much of my time on my back with the telly on. everything i need is at most 4 feet away and having mel gibson on 24 hours today just makes me happy to stay in bed.

to those who celebrate christmas, hope you had a good one :)

ps: i copied the "perjuangan yang belum selesai" video from kak ayu and en saiful also gave me a cd of pictures that he took during the orientation. message me on my msn if anyone wants it, ok.

GOD'S ART

the weather's erratic as always. somehow i'm able to brave the 27 degrees with just a thin coat and no socks. the salt gets in my boots though, and it's pretty annoying that i have to kick my foot in the air to make it go to the back of my shoe. even then, it still annoys my heels, but not as much. one thing i do love about these tame flurries is that the snowflakes come down intact and stay that way until those few seconds after they land on your coat. you can only just make out the intricate spiderweb patterns before they dissolve. it reminds you how great God is.

i'm falling in love with lenny's 'butterfly'. i know i'm 12 years behind the music scene and i'm not exactly miss current affairs, but i honestly love the simplicity of this song. i only wish i had someone special enough to share it with :)

WHO STOLE MY TIME? (And My Coffee..)

i've opted for tea now.

it could be that it's called Rest Assured or that it's been a long time coming, but it surely works and for two nights in a row i've been knocked out cold before the stroke of midnight.

i'll be leaving for DC on friday for an orientation and i'll be spending tomorrow with prof stanton finalizing grades for his class. that leaves me an impossible amount of time to do my laundry. but that's not a priority. people tend not to sweat in winter :p

with all this time on my hands i simply cannot find the motivation to write.

PILE ON THOSE CALORIES, MISTER!

my favorite dessert, without a doubt, is apple pie with ice cream and caramel.

I ATE SANTA *Burp*

i was walking back from school and this lady was walking right behind me. it wasnt weird at first, but as i walked further, she was still a few paces back and still following me. she could have been heading the same direction. but the creepy thing was that she walked directly behind me even when we were walking down the sidewalk which could fit 3 people walking abreast. i dodged around a bit, which resulted in me looking like i was drunk or maybe doing a little dance, and somehow she did the same. i kept turning back but she had her eyes down the pavement, probably hard at work trying to memorize my steps :p

anyway, somewhere between forbes and south craig she dissapeared.

yesterday during finals they served bagels and other breakfast goodies. everyone ended up having bagels upon bagels on their tables, munching away while they answered the exam questions. this guy kept going to the back of the room to get more and tripped on his way down to his seat; bagels and all flying everywhere. it was quite a hoot. i think i snorted.

by the way, if santa doesnt come round your block this christmas, that'd be 'cos i ate him.

THE TORTURE CHAMBER

yes. the torture has begun. in 8 hours time i will be bent over a desk drenched in sweat for 180 minutes of answering sadistic questions on the software development process and all that good stuff.

exams make you hate your major; they don't necessarily make you learn stuff better.

i'm glad i'm not in it alone. everyone i know is working their sweet behinds off and i'm not about to claim that i'm working a lot more than anyone else.

right now i wish i was president.

CHATTING CATCHING UP

it's snowing pretty heavily outside. no surprise there; it is, after all, december.

however, i did take a walk outside to get a cup of coffee from kiva (where else??). and it was surprisingly pleasant. although the road is fast disappearing under the accumulating snow, there was only a mild wind that could pass off as a spring breeze. with the entire street lit up and decorated with fir and christmas ornaments, i couldn't help but feel the holiday spirit; albeit i don't celebrate christmas myself. no harm in joining in the fun and soaking up the atmosphere, yeah? (^_^)

in the past few nights of sleepless exertions, i have been actively accompanied by endless chat sessions. hats off to whoever invented instant messaging.

while catching up with my colleague En Hasan, i was informed that Pn Khairi has been promoted to e-learning ibm asean level. Congratulations to her. it's very well that they should all be having fun at work while i sit here on tenterhooks waiting for my finals to be over :p.

i also just got off a very girly conversation with kerr and idd. aah.. to be immersed in gossip and feminine banter! sometimes a girl needs her dose of reassurance to celebrate her womanhood (^_^). thanks duddettes... you guys made my night!

now, back to my science paper... and more importantly, my cup of coffee.

BIRTHDAY BOYS

Happy Birthday my lovely Arif and Afiq!!!

two classes ended for good today, and there's only two days left til the end of semester. Finals are next week and i'm more excited than i am scared. Though i doubt i'm prepared for it :p

i'm on my 3rd cup of coffee already and i don't think i'll be sleeping until the 12th. yep, it's that time of year and i'm stocking up on caffeine.

anyway, here's a prototype of an educational software on photography i created. there's still some glitches but i'm not bothering myself to fix them right now. my Lingo programming skills is questionable, i'm proud to admit.

anyhoo, check it out and see if you learn anything from it. if you don't, i'm pretty sure the music will irritate the hell out of you :p

Photography: The Gift of Vision - An Educational Software for Amateurs by Yazmin Islahudin

... or if that doesn't work, try this...

Photography.exe

FATMA'S 10 THINGS

this is just about the most honest and funnest entry i've read in a long time.
fatma dear, i hope you don't mind that i'm posting your entry here (^_^)

Ten Things I Learn During Thanksgiving Break by Fatma Nazihah

BALIK KAMPUNG PURDUE :)

Alhamdulillah we got back safe from the wonderful trip to Purdue! Purdue people, you are great :D

Raya was not as bad as i thought it would be. I gave myself a treat by skipping my 2 classes and going to the salon (Actually the trip to the salon was an unprecedented emergency. I foolishly lopped off a fistful of hair the night before due to extreme boredom). Then there was all the rendang i helped finish over at K-syu's.

Going to purdue was like going back to kampung. The food was awesome and the density of the malay community hit me like a bullet. It was so fun to see so many malaysians! Best of all though, was meeting up with all my dear friends :D

On saturday i got to see bands performing raya songs and other more guitar laden ones. Then there was the usual scurry for supper at Denny's. if only all veggie burgers were made that way :(

anyway, now i'm back in school, all safe and comfortable in my room, and all i have to look forward to for the next 2 weeks are my finals.

Pray i do well!

TO ALL...

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin :)

...

"What's that?"
"Milk."
"Why's it say 'experiment'?"
"So nobody'll drink it."

LOST IN OHIO

i think i'm ready to be rich now.

you see, i have my eyes on a powerbook. it's not something i need. no. not at all. but it's something i really really want. mainly because it's cool. rich people get cool stuff they don't need all the time. which is why i should be rich.

something awful happened on saturday. i went to watch the Sixers play against the Cleveland Cavaliers. We went all the way to Ohio to watch it. it was bad enough that we were surrounded by cavaliers fans, so that we couldnt cheer that much for the Sixers. I'm sure they would have let us, but then again i dont think it was worth getting beaten up for.

and of course the Sixers had to lose that day.

the game ended pretty much around 1030. and the two and a half hour trip back didnt sound that bad since i planned on sleeping anyway. however, the bus driver drove WEST FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF before someone realized that we heading further into ohio rather than heading back home to pittsburgh. what was that all about???!! getting lost is fine, but driving in the opposite direction altogether????!!

so, we ended up taking about 4 hours to reach pittsburgh instead. the best part of the entire journey was when we stopped to eat, only to find that Wendy's doesn't have fish sandwich. So Lan and I pigged on 2 large fries each. i am so close to being a full-time vegetarian.

oh well, it was still an interesting experience. now if someone asks me for a funny story at least i have something to tell. i'm sure a lot of people are tired with my knock-knock jokes anyway :p

BASKETBALL TREAT

i wonder how long a person can be deprived of sleep before they finally crack up and become insane? i know i'm most certainly heading there :p

it's 838am on a saturday and i've been up since 3am. programming, naturally. it's probably not as hard as i make it to be, but then again programming is not something im best at.

i code by my window and it's quite a pleasant thing being able to see the day turn from dusk to night to dawn. i miss the chirping sounds that use to accompany the turn of a new day. obviously the birds are busy packing up to fly south now. it's still a bearable kind of cold. but soon i know i'll be putting on sweaters on top of sweaters and be walking around like a multicolored sack of potatoes. who says winter isnt colorful?

i cant wait for the afternoon to arrive though. i'm heading off to watch a basketball game. woohoo! of course there's the dreaded program i have to trudge over before and after the game. whoop-dee-doo.

so, apparently Idd thinks i am evil. heh heh heh. i have somehow managed to lure her into buying stuff that she most probably doesnt need. i gave her a link to this coat i liked a couple of days back. and she ended up browsing through the net looking for one too. she ended up buying one, while I, didnt get anything. nyahaha, my work is done. Idd girl, have some self control. muahahahahhaa (evil laughter).

to nabe, i love you dearly!! thanks so much for the chicken pie recipe :D. i'll let you kno how it turns out (when i finally do get down to doing it of course :p)

amir, happy birthday!

oh and by the way, i'd like to introduce everyone to some new-comers: my mentor from IBM, Encik Hasan, and of course, Irfan.

take care all, and enjoy the remaining days of this holy month :)

TIME GOES ON...

sorrow is such an agonizing emotion. it's puzzling how it can exhaust both mind and body. the past few days have been filled with confusion as i still try to comprehend the tragic event. yet i would be lying if i were to say i am not envious of the two arwahs, for they are surely blessed. (Al-Fatihah).

it is snowing outside, much to my amusement. it's sunny and the wind is blowing at 28mph. almost seems like all the seasons are playing up today. if i had less work and more time i would just sit outside and feel the wind against my cheeks. then again it's too comfy in my chair, now that i've warmed it up.

it's a busy day out there and i am enswathed in indolence. i darent puzzle over what tomorrow brings me.

one thing's for sure though: life is ephemeral, time is incessant, God is eternal.


... and programming is due on Sunday.

AL-FATIHAH

Al-Fatihah to nanim and teh of Michigan.

MOTLEY CREW

there's an interesting mix of people in my photography class: there's andrew the architecture student with his precise and "Architecture Digest" cover pictures. Amul who photographs models (and body parts...hmmm), mark the almost-pro who has only like 4 or 5 SLR cameras, jeremiah the CMU CS graduate who left IBM to study law (what's up with that?), and of course dear ruth, the sweet grandmother who snaps photos of her pregnant daughter-in-law, puppies, little muppets and baskets of fruits :)

the perfect motley crew.


btw, does anyone agree with me that Vinnie Jones is the next Arnold Schwarzeneggar?

SHORTLIVED SURPRISE

how bizarre!

i thought i was late for class this morning. it was exceedingly hard to leave my bed today since i actually did wake up at 5 for sahur. however i did get to class at a reasonable time.

just as everyone was settling in their seats, craig comes in, makes small talk, lets alison announce her charity event held tonight (where KJ summarized it to be somewhat of a "don't give a man a fish, teach him to fish" and where jason replied "dont give a man a duck, teach him to duck") and finally tells us,

"Since it's a nice day outside, I don't think we should be sitting inside. Which is why i'm giving you the day off"

yay! now i can... study... for tomorrow's test?!

AN I.S. EVENING

here we are, a bunch of IS majors sitting in front of our laptops frantically coding away before 11pm. On a Sunday too :(

kate, alex and i are examples of where bad things happen to good people. this project is due tonight and since any other 2 heads are better than mine, i managed to drag kate to The Underground and work on it. eventually i got alex to join. i should be a negotiator.

we still have 6 hours of grueling coding to do.

thank god for all the fries and chocolate mousse bombs.

KATE'S CREATION AND MINE

i'm in class right now and kate is sitting infront of me crocheting a blanket. at the rate she's going, she just might make it in time for christmas :)

later.



my first contact sheet on lines and implied lines

DANCING GOATS

mff was a success, as always :D
thanks all!

as a result of activities preceding the event, i slept as soon as i got home and woke up late. it was 1030am when i gained consciousness, and it was 15 minutes after that it registered to me i had to be in class. i hopped in the shower, gathered my notes and rushed to melwood - arriving an hour late without my student card.

i stayed making contact sheets til 1pm and at 330 Jen picked me up. We headed to Dancing Goats to do some coding and Jen had to bring me home before we could finish because I was starting to fall asleep.

on an entirely different note, online shopping is so convenient that i have to wonder: if it didn't exist, would i have ended up with half the stuff i already have?

THE DARKROOM

i am ecstatic between having too much caffeine and having successfully developed my film.

melissa, paul, chris and i met up at the darkroom. why 4 people? well it helps to have moral support. especially since there's a high tendency to mess things up with the chemicals and all that good stuff.

i am not a fan of being in the dark, and that's what unloading your film entails (hence the term 'darkroom' if you havent figured that out). you basically lock yourself in a room and immerse yourself in total darkness. darkness in which your eyes wont adjust to over time and the type where it wont make any difference whether you close or open your eyes. i got a bit dizzy and am curious how a claustophobic would deal with this.

the trick is to visualize everything you're doing in your head. at this point your touch senses is all that counts. so you unload your film (after having cracked open the film roll out of the cartridge with a can opener), wind it onto the reel, and place it in your tank. all in the dark.

the chemicals are tricky. i had no idea things had to be so precise. and the measurement is nerve wrecking - the chemicals even have to be at a certain temperature to react properly to the film. you literally need a stopwatch for this and keep the rhythm of your agitation. it's hard work i tell you. i feel i should just quit and do an MBA (NOT!!!!)

anyhoo, after all that stuff you dry the negative film (which hopefully if you did it right, there'll be pictures on them). i freaked out because i couldnt see mine immediately. but they showed up after awhile :D

and all that took 2 hours.

all worth it :)

SACRED MARRIAGE

a couple of days ago KJ started talking about her fiance/boyfriend. which obviously brought about the topic of marriage.

to which jason retorted,

"I think marriage is sacred. That's why I'm not doing it."

hmm.

SUMMER CRUMBS

the days have adopted an annoying habit of running into each other i barely have time to distinguish one week from the next. it's already been a month and i'm shocked. fall is creeping up on us and yet people still insist on wearing the thinnest of fabrics and flowers still want to act all pretty like it's summer. time definitely has a personality and currently it's toying with us all.

i've been kept busy with plenty of things. it's been fun grading assignments, but the mass emailing which comes after is pretty challenging.

also had my first taste of film developing last week. we made photograms with the enlarger and played a bit with chemicals.

but right now i need to finish something i've put off just to update.
enjoy what's left of summer!

A NEW DAY

Kiva Han is hiring new people.
John bought the shop beside Kiva, formerly a small ornamental store called History with funky crafts and such. So Kiva'll be expanding to the corner of South Craig and now John's adding more food to the currently caffeinated menu. All vegan of course :)




Starbucks is moving right across the street, by the way.

SUPERSTAR

i am finally a superstar! heheh....

Computimes, 28 Aug 2003 - IBM Hosts Seminar

btw, you can click on the picture for the full article

DEAR OL' SCHOOL

i reached dear ol' pittsburgh at almost 5pm on sunday. my baggage was late. it's so annoying that all the other bags before yours circle the conveyer belt a million times with noone ever claiming them. if only they had the decency to make the walk from the airplane to the baggage claim longer - then by the time you reach it your bag would most probably be there already. the perfect illusion for efficiency you see.

anyway, i got to my apartment at around 7ish pm and was pooped out of my wits. class the next day was at 930am so i was pretty much asking for trouble. all my classes this semester start way too early for my liking.

first class was Writing In The Professions. Apparently most were IS juniors so it was nice to see familiar faces. it ended around 11 so i slept as soon as i got back and woke up at 9pm. today was worse. class was at 9am. the good thing was that it was an IS class i've been itching to start taking. so it was worth it. but i'm actually waiting for tomorrow; tomorrow's the day i get to know if i can get into the Writing and Photography: Magazine Writing and Journalism class. keep your fingers crossed yah!

oh and by the way, say hello to the new 70643 Teaching Assistant!!!

ME THE HANDYMAN

got a delightful surprise this morning when nabe called. thanks lots :) and sorry to cut you off real fast but today i became the handyman and helped dad polish the masonry at the porch. tomorrow it's light bulbs. anyhoo, it was pretty fun polishing, and the water repellant acryllic did make the floor shine. so all that crouching and squatting paid off.

so now i'm half-way through packing (that's a lie. i'm putting it off til tomorrow) and this is when the grief settles in. but i guess i'll enjoy it while it lasts.

anyway, if anyone needs their tiles/masonry polished...you know who to call ;p

SO LONG, AND THANKS TO THE ELEPHANT

today was my last day. and what better way to end such a wonderful experience with a grand event at Sheraton Imperial.

I finally had to return my Industrial Trainee badge; but they let me keep the neck cord. yay!

anyway, it was rather sad when i had to say my goodbyes and i'd like to thank all IBMers and a couple of MINDEF people whom i met during my involvement with the Thought Leadership Seminar held this morning. But most of all i think i had the most fun with my sector (listed right off the top of my head so excuse me for leaving out any names): Pn Khairi, En Hasan, En Jasni (nice voice by the way), En Nizam (for recommending me Arthur C. Clarke!), En Rauf, Kak Ha, Kak Shafini, Kak Rozaidah, Nadia, Pn Faridah, En Radzi, En Hafiz (who i talked to only once but whose advice i really appreciate), and of course the entire 3A floor!!!

sigh. as much as i feel that this holiday surely was a short one, i think its the most rewarding yet :)

also, en hasan recommended i post the speech i drafted for Dato' Suriah. This isn't the final version, but it is the original that i wrote for her and the one she read with a few modifications. don't be too hard on me though, since this is my maiden speech for such a huge event :)

Establishing Security as a Business Enabler

THE END OF GOOD DAYS

Boy oh boy it's been one hectic ride of a summer. a rollercoaster experience, if i may say so myself.
And all of it to end by next saturday :( (sobs!)

well, my days at IBM will end soon enough. it's only been a month and i'd been told that i wouldn't get much out in 30 days. but actually i've gained quite a lot than i had imagined and all of them are undoubtedly precious experiences. I'm also proud to announce that this morning, at a seminar on Infosecurity organized by IBM, Dato' Suriah, Deputy Secretary General I of the Ministry of Energy, Communications and Multimedia, had used the speech I drafted out!

so...tuesday shall officially conclude my internship. boo-hoo. lots of fun, and even more lessons learnt. more on that on tuesday though (i hate goodbyes).

I had to write a report after the completion of Lou Gerstner's book - requested by En Hassan. I'll post that up later I suppose. However, I do have one essay currently written based on my encounter with a lady. Do read it. I'm not giving away the story, so let's just say it's a tribute to all the mothers out there - but specifically those mums who sacrifice their jobs for us :)

The World's Most Noble Job

WHO SAYS ELEPHANTS CAN'T DANCE?

It's my second week and i've been presented with a great gift from my mentor. I would not have looked twice had i come across this book two weeks earlier, but now that i've learned more about IBM, it's culture and most of all, it's history and turnaround, i find this a business bible with all the answers to any business plight (and god knows IBM has faced many of these).

Already ive been exposed to many new subject matters and concepts which without this internship i probably would not have been familiar with until later. I had the opportunity to sit in a press conference on Grid Computing and meet many interesting people during lunch breaks. Apart from that, i also get to indulge in information inaccessible to me had i not become an IBMer (i know my status as an IBMer is temporary, but what the heck, i'll use it as often as i can til this is all over :D). Which also reminds me of the fact that i currently have an IBM email add. nyahahaha. (and a security card to boot :p)

IBM aside, my brother returns this thursday. i can't wait to see him, kak azi and of course my darling nephews. We'll finally be a whole family again soon and it's these rare moments that make all the waiting worthwhile.

Inspirational words from En Hasan:

"To Yazmin the leader,

May God's blessings be upon you
May His peace abide with you
May his presence illuminate your heart
Now and forever more

So be it"

STEPPING OUT OF THE RAIN AND INTO THE CORPORATE WORLD

Apparently, here it is not called "internship", but instead has a much more fancier name. Now when people give me the "who-the-heck-are-you?" look, i don't tell them i'm an intern; i tell them i am "under industrial training". Hah!

Today was mighty interesting though. Except for the part where I had to wake up at 6am and head out the house in a rush to beat the traffic. I ended up skipping breakfast and have mum call dad up (numerous times) in the car to ask if i had everything i needed. She also conveniently reported that i had left my pen on her bed. It turned out that i had not remembered to pack a pen anyway, so how could i have left that one on her bed.

Anyway, despite the stupid rain, I reached IBM at 8:15am only to realize I had no card to enter the office. But it didn't matter much because En. Hasan showed up soon enough, and 5 minutes later we picked up Mrs. Veronica Ong and were on our way to MSC for my first meeting ever.

We arrived at MSC 10 minutes late due to the downpour, but naturally we weren't the last to show up. I had been briefed by En. Hasan about the meeting. As i was only present to observe the meeting, i wasn't terribly worried. However i was afraid that i would nod off and start to snore gently. After all, when was the last time i had participated in anything scheduled at 9.30 in the morning?? Upon entering the meeting room, being the observant person that i am, the first thing i saw were the plates of meehoon goreng; neatly arranged along with bottled water, cups and saucers and pieces of cakes. I asked Mrs. Ong if all meetings were like this - to which she replied with a laugh (evil, to my ears :( ) and a final shake of her head.

Not surprisingly I had to pinch myself to keep awake. But i did get some note-taking done. Back in Damansara during lunch, En. Hasan discussed the meeting with me. It was interesting that i was given the chance to relay my perspective on the meeting. Nicer still, i was able to experience first hand the do's and don'ts of chairing a meeting. Books might have described it similarly, but nothing beats sitting smack in the middle of one.

The weather seemed to be saying stay-in-bed-with-all-the-covers-on. But despite that, it was a great day.

LONDON PICTURES

been back for almost a week now. i've been sleeping at 6am and having midnight snacks with my sis and mum at 2am for the past few days. and i'm still thinking in dollars.

anyway, naturally i have loads to tell but not enough energy to tell it. jet lag you see. but i've uploaded photos from london (yay!) so go see those first.

i have a meeting tomorrow in which i hope to become an intern at IBM. wish me luck yah :D ! also, i've finally started my OCR job which is basically doing stuff on my lappy and sending stuff back to my employer through email. how cool is that. heh :)

oh and before i forget, check out my sister's new website. really cute ;). also read her entry on her encounter with The Cockroach :p

well i better get some sleep. it's 4:30am and breakfast is not til another 4 hours.

Nottingham: Of Pretty Sceneries and Domestic Animals
Madame Tussauds: The Land of Famous Wax
Hamley: The Land of Toys, Toys, Toys!
London Streets: Part I
London Streets: Part II

LONDON BABY!

i'm in london and my sister just received her master's :)

anyway, i finally get to see all the places on the monopoly board again :p

catcha later! toodles!!

FAMILIAR ROADS

hey-ho

...another 7 hours til i leave for home!! whee!!! i can't believe that another year has passed and here i am waiting to go home to see my family again :D

the room is now empty except for a couple of stuff lying around waiting to be packed after i'm all set to head out. i know this might sound crazy (and totally unnecessary) but i feel a teensy bit sad leaving pittsburgh. it is, in some ways, home to me. i've grown fond of the place and it's just so nice to be around familiar faces everyday as i walk to school. like Vera who's always sitting in her chair at the lobby in fairfax, and the little Tibetan old lady who sits at the stair to her shop with her prayer beads, and John who owns kiva at the end of south craig. it's true that routine can be a bore. but it also makes you comfortable. i guess it's true that people don't like change, even if it's nothing really drastic or even new.

so, i guess my next entry will be from malaysia :).
hope everyone has a fun summer!

LIRIT TEN' MELLONAMIN

thanks to all who responded to my last essay. I had no idea it would stir quite an issue. i find many disagree (no surprise there) but i also found a couple of people who kind of allowed the idea to be worth considered. again, thanks for the emails, messages and comments. :)

classes are almost done. and this weekend has been the most hectic yet. funnily enough i did find some time to read about elven and tolkien's many many invented languages. it has always been something i've wondered and awed about - the creation of new languages.

well i decided to experiment and wrote a short poem in elven. it's not exactly poetic since my vocabulary still sucks (not to mention there's bound to be plenty of grammatical errors). i'm not quite sure as to which language it is exactly but it's definitely not Sindarin, which was the language widely used in the movie. so it may not sound as pretty as it did when arwen or aragorn was speaking it. then again aragorn can make anything sound pretty :p. i'm guessing it's an inaccurate version of Sindarin or maybe just common elvish. by the way, it's written in Tengwar, not tamil. if you don't know what i mean, you will when you see the writing ;)

"Lirit ten' Mellonamin"

harthanen le sui ha!

SUMMER SEMESTER

one word to describe summer classes: intense.

And boy are they fast!

Anyhoo, i've finally taken time off to write. I've written a short story which was a result of one of my many sleepless nights. Lately i've been getting only 2-3 hours worth of sleep. And somehow i still manage to stay awake in class. The fact that i dont miss my 1030 class is a miracle itself.

Yesterday i participated in an experiment which paid $25. nyahahaha. i could do this for a living. All i had to do was sit down for 45 minutes and answer some decision making under uncertainty questions. They usually have experiments like this and post them all over the school. The other day as I was staring at the noticeboard somewhere on campus, I technically had made $110. Even if you don't take part in the experiment, fantasizing that you did and pretending you earned all that money is fun enough, believe me.

Point of digression. People who know me know that it seems at times i distance myself from crowds. I've been wondering about that. not such a big thing, but it has raised some questions. Here i wrote a short essay on friends and friendship; which in this case borrows a lot from my personal experience. The essay may seem hostile, but i've decided that i'd take nozick's approach on things: through skepticism. I figured the results of my final conclusion could be interesting if i start off by questioning my topic through pure ignorance and dubiety. Having said that, try not to judge me on the basis of this sole essay.

"Part I: Friend…. Or Entity of Validation"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGAH

hey! i'm still aliiiiiiiiiive!!!

p/s: happy birthday ngah!!!