Monday, January 19, 2004
A KIVA SURPRISE
Kiva Han threw a little surprise party for me! hehe... apparently they were all waiting for me to come in yesterday but I never did. So when i stopped by from campus just now, john made sure i didnt leave too soon as he disappeared to the kitchen. lo and behold, he came out with a cake, complete with candles :)
and so the kiva han crew, john and his wife all sat down to eat cake with me while telling each other stories :)
This is definitely, the best birthday i've had ;)
PARTY CRASHER!
after spending the entire day yesterday sleeping off my 'flu, i finally decided to head to campus to print some stuff. it was about 8pm at the time so i really needed to hurry.
as i stepped out of the elevator, i saw in the lobby just about all the malaysians at CMU huddled together and chattering. even though it seemed odd that they were all sitting there doing nothing, i thought i'd say hi and see what they were up to.
they were all surprised to see me. and the 2 cakes set up on the table were evident as to why they were :) And so, instead of being greeted with polite hello's, all of them started shouting at a very confused me...
"Alamak, myn!!"
"Aiyo, what are you doing here? Go back up!!!"
"Hide the cake! Lynn, tutup cake!"
"Err... err... SURPRISE!??!?!??"
haha... apparently i had crashed my own surprise party and spoiled it for all of them :p
anyway, it worked out in the end though (i had to act surprised again just to make them happy) and we all squeezed into my apartment to have a pretty decent time. honestly, i had a real blast and i really appreciate the thought :) It was fun to have people remember, but it was a lot more fun to see the looks on their faces when i caught them red handed :D
Thanks people! My love to all of you :)
Sunday, January 18, 2004
SEASONS PASS By Yazmin Islahudin
Rays flood each way, the night is shorn,
Streets come alive under break of dawn,
Another day is born.
The days go by in faithful pace,
Its splendors worth to be embraced,
But routine has kept me tied in place,
As I rush to run against the race.
Out by my window stands a bent old tree,
Whose presence at night becomes company,
Its bark bears wisdom and history,
For generations it has stood there loyally.
During Winter it’s dressed in the whitest of snow,
God’s confetti from the heavens that bless us below;
In Springtime pink buds appear aplenty and bloom,
Filling dullness with colors and a burst of perfume;
Then Summer appears and brings lush to its leaves,
Giving life to all things, bearing birds and the bees;
And when Fall falls upon us it sheds all but its grace,
The tree stands proud still, on its majestic dais.
But with absence I note these changes of time,
While the seasons disappear to the next one in line,
Caught up with matters too important to decline,
Life becomes what it is that we carelessly define.
Now I look out, to my faithful friend,
Once again on his bark, white snow descends.
How can time move by so fast?
Didn’t I live each day like it’s my last?
So I clutch today in a desperate grasp,
And try to freeze time in a casket of glass.
Yet somehow I had blinked too long,
For another year has gone.
*To all the well wishers, thank you so very much :) And may God bless us all with the turn of a new year (whenever that might be for you ;) )
Friday, January 16, 2004
WHO DO WE DECEIVE?
with all these items that i own, am i unconsciously trying to portray an image to the public? is there a certain way i want others to perceive me as?
we all dress up during interviews and choose our words carefully, making sure we appear to belong in that particular corporate community we're applying to. in application forms we highlight what may be impressive and list traits we know will be met with approval. at one instance or another, we all adopt a fitting personality in order to gain acceptance and be classified with other notable types of people. in other words, people do a lot of 'acting' in order to 'fool' the general public. of course there's nothing wrong in this, and essentially this is expected behavior in which case certain ground rules or standards have been predetermined as a way of social conduct.
however there are times when such images are prominent and we become infatuated with trends. every person has a picture of their social status in their minds eye and we try to emulate this as much as we can in order to build our personality. married couples start collecting china and people develop a taste for italian furniture as they grow older. teenagers own every electronic device there is on the market. of course we dont pretend to have interest in these things, because we actually do. but there still lies a factor in which there's an unconscious drive to be seen in a way we want others to see us; we fabricate passion and concern over a set of values which builds a character that we want people to identify us with. with all the physical clues we exhibit, we give first impressions that establish our personality. or at least some part of it.
seeking individuality requires much more than scratching the surface, though. it gets much more complicated here, and to really understand a person one needs to interact and look for habits and simple behavioral patterns that paints a clearer picture as to who we really are.
no matter how well we are able to 'fool' others, our true personalities are always visible through those quirky habits that we carelessly give away. it's not so much that we lie and trick people into believing we're someone we're not. it's just that we are careful to select what we want people to see and know of us.
for me, my true colors are revealed by those simple evidence of coffee-mug rings stained on my table, rolls of film unmindfully placed in corners of my window sill, sweet wrappers in my wastepaper basket and paintboxes stuffed in my drawer away from those neatly archived Times magazine i set on my shelf for visitors to see :)
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
TWO WORLDS (And I'm Stuck In The Middle)
i pretty much play the role as the chameleon and try as much as i can to disguise myself while i run from my database management class to my advanced professional & technical writing class. but when i do sit down amongst those bright psychadelic shirts and home-made retro skirts, my camoflage pretty much fails me. however, it's when discussions open my true colors give me away.
it surprises me still how different english majors think from technical majors do. they are much more passionate about things and seem to have a knack for intellectual discourse which somehow seems to make much more sense to the world than programming and system development do. though i don't deny the fact programming and system development have their importance in the world (yes, and i do mean "in the world". it's important ok). but in all honesty, english, which henceforth i shall refer to as language, shapes the world in a much more larger way. for i think it has the ability to impact minds, form ideas and inspire movements.
during one discussion i had several semesters ago doing discourse analysis, it appeared to me that discourse indeed does shape the world in how we see it. of course there may be times when in my english classes the students tend to think much more deeper into a context than they should have (they love doing that) but in fact it just makes the mind wander off in tangents that creates more opinions and ideas. they also seem to question things historically and spend more time pondering over methodologies as to why people react the way they do and how language can trigger revolutionary changes, which it has by the way. more than anything these english students delve deeper into language than anyone i've ever met and bring about a whole new set of practices, from philosophy to psychology. and believe me, these people, in some way or another, have the power to change the way we perceive things through language and discourse.
a technical student however, sees things differently. they are capable of contributing to deep discussions, though the way of thinking might slightly differ. they come up with just as interesting things as the english student does, but from a different perspective. more often than not it always relates back to philosophies of economics or maybe organizational behavior. interesting nonetheless. but also much more constricted. where the english student sees things in a more open and metaphysical point of view, the techie sees things which is almost always based on substantial evidence, carefully disguised in examples of current affairs and political matters. in short, technical students are as much businessmen as english majors are philosophers.
of course many philosophers came from very technical, or rather scientific backgrounds. but proficiency in language is also important and the understanding of how the audience relate and react to language is equally essential. mastering the language is just as significant as the idea one is about to funnel across. politicians make great case studies, though i do recommend philosophers and of course the much more prettier verses of the Qur'an. the success of influencing people comes from the way the language is conveyed to you.
i find myself going back and forth between these two personalities of the tech student and the english student, more so when the concreteness of programming begins to reflect the reality i am about to face the next 20 years of my life. the IS side of me knows that this very well might be the thing that will provide bread and butter on my table. but the other part of me also wants to keep writing in hopes to be able to convey ideologies and share experiences which might be worth telling. of course nobody is actually stopping me from doing both, but it just goes to show that technical skills and social sciences go hand in hand.
despite their superficial differences though, i like to think that the english and IS department are actually conjoined twins joined by their knack for knowledge and lack of fashion sense :)
Monday, January 12, 2004
JUNIOR YEAR
Junior year is tricky. you can almost see the finishing line, but right ahead of you, you need to plough through barnacles and sidestep mines. occasionally, you stumble across an oasis and you get lost in its comfort and promises of perpetual merriment.
...then your grades come by and smack you right back to the face of reality.
And a beautiful face it is indeed :D
Enjoy school, people!
Sunday, January 11, 2004
A SMALL TIP GOES A LONG WAY
so, tips anyone? :D
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
AYYY!
ayyyy!
Monday, December 29, 2003
SUNDAY SOBS
i am the picture of depression.
Saturday, December 27, 2003
D.C.
5 days in DC and i met a lot of new people. interesting, i might add. it was 6am every morning and back in bed at 12am every night. the most memorable thing about the orientation would have to be the meals we were provided with every 2 hours or so. i hardly even have 3 meals a day here in pitt, and after those 5 days in DC i realize that i become hungry a lot more often.
suddenly i feel very very incompetent and almost sloth-like. i've been in ever since i returned on christmas eve and have been spending much of my time on my back with the telly on. everything i need is at most 4 feet away and having mel gibson on 24 hours today just makes me happy to stay in bed.
to those who celebrate christmas, hope you had a good one :)
ps: i copied the "perjuangan yang belum selesai" video from kak ayu and en saiful also gave me a cd of pictures that he took during the orientation. message me on my msn if anyone wants it, ok.
Friday, December 19, 2003
GOD'S ART
i'm falling in love with lenny's 'butterfly'. i know i'm 12 years behind the music scene and i'm not exactly miss current affairs, but i honestly love the simplicity of this song. i only wish i had someone special enough to share it with :)
Thursday, December 18, 2003
WHO STOLE MY TIME? (And My Coffee..)
it could be that it's called Rest Assured or that it's been a long time coming, but it surely works and for two nights in a row i've been knocked out cold before the stroke of midnight.
i'll be leaving for DC on friday for an orientation and i'll be spending tomorrow with prof stanton finalizing grades for his class. that leaves me an impossible amount of time to do my laundry. but that's not a priority. people tend not to sweat in winter :p
with all this time on my hands i simply cannot find the motivation to write.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
PILE ON THOSE CALORIES, MISTER!
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
I ATE SANTA *Burp*
anyway, somewhere between forbes and south craig she dissapeared.
yesterday during finals they served bagels and other breakfast goodies. everyone ended up having bagels upon bagels on their tables, munching away while they answered the exam questions. this guy kept going to the back of the room to get more and tripped on his way down to his seat; bagels and all flying everywhere. it was quite a hoot. i think i snorted.
by the way, if santa doesnt come round your block this christmas, that'd be 'cos i ate him.

Monday, December 08, 2003
THE TORTURE CHAMBER
exams make you hate your major; they don't necessarily make you learn stuff better.
i'm glad i'm not in it alone. everyone i know is working their sweet behinds off and i'm not about to claim that i'm working a lot more than anyone else.
right now i wish i was president.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
CHATTING CATCHING UP
however, i did take a walk outside to get a cup of coffee from kiva (where else??). and it was surprisingly pleasant. although the road is fast disappearing under the accumulating snow, there was only a mild wind that could pass off as a spring breeze. with the entire street lit up and decorated with fir and christmas ornaments, i couldn't help but feel the holiday spirit; albeit i don't celebrate christmas myself. no harm in joining in the fun and soaking up the atmosphere, yeah? (^_^)
in the past few nights of sleepless exertions, i have been actively accompanied by endless chat sessions. hats off to whoever invented instant messaging.
while catching up with my colleague En Hasan, i was informed that Pn Khairi has been promoted to e-learning ibm asean level. Congratulations to her. it's very well that they should all be having fun at work while i sit here on tenterhooks waiting for my finals to be over :p.
i also just got off a very girly conversation with kerr and idd. aah.. to be immersed in gossip and feminine banter! sometimes a girl needs her dose of reassurance to celebrate her womanhood (^_^). thanks duddettes... you guys made my night!
now, back to my science paper... and more importantly, my cup of coffee.
Thursday, December 04, 2003
BIRTHDAY BOYS
two classes ended for good today, and there's only two days left til the end of semester. Finals are next week and i'm more excited than i am scared. Though i doubt i'm prepared for it :p
i'm on my 3rd cup of coffee already and i don't think i'll be sleeping until the 12th. yep, it's that time of year and i'm stocking up on caffeine.
anyway, here's a prototype of an educational software on photography i created. there's still some glitches but i'm not bothering myself to fix them right now. my Lingo programming skills is questionable, i'm proud to admit.
anyhoo, check it out and see if you learn anything from it. if you don't, i'm pretty sure the music will irritate the hell out of you :p
... or if that doesn't work, try this...
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
FATMA'S 10 THINGS
fatma dear, i hope you don't mind that i'm posting your entry here (^_^)
Ten Things I Learn During Thanksgiving Break by Fatma Nazihah
BALIK KAMPUNG PURDUE :)
Raya was not as bad as i thought it would be. I gave myself a treat by skipping my 2 classes and going to the salon (Actually the trip to the salon was an unprecedented emergency. I foolishly lopped off a fistful of hair the night before due to extreme boredom). Then there was all the rendang i helped finish over at K-syu's.
Going to purdue was like going back to kampung. The food was awesome and the density of the malay community hit me like a bullet. It was so fun to see so many malaysians! Best of all though, was meeting up with all my dear friends :D
On saturday i got to see bands performing raya songs and other more guitar laden ones. Then there was the usual scurry for supper at Denny's. if only all veggie burgers were made that way :(
anyway, now i'm back in school, all safe and comfortable in my room, and all i have to look forward to for the next 2 weeks are my finals.
Pray i do well!